In the relative security of my Los Angeles residence, I awoke to the information of the terrorist bombings in Brussels and promptly readied myself for the regular “ideas, prayers and candles lit in condolence” that generally arrive on the heels of attacks like these (at least the kinds in predominantly white nations around the world).

I also did anything that is turn out to be equally predictable: I informed my partner — once again — that I was not completely ready to revisit Europe. Why? Simply because I am irrationally fearful to go to a put exactly where random strangers like me are specific for violence and loss of life — and certainly, I know how stupid that sounds.

My worry is not reasonable. Intellectually I know that having my prospects each day on a Los Angeles freeway possibly places me at increased possibility of early loss of life than the prospects of checking out a Brussels teach station and rubbing elbows with a suicide bomber. And I could trot out the quantities that exhibit how far more Individuals die each and every yr from gun violence proper below at residence — easily topping fatalities in a Paris nightclub or Brussels airport from terrorists who want to impose their beliefs on me. 

But nevertheless, my worry was there. I texted a close friend who leaves for Germany tomorrow. She was concerned, she informed me, but not more than enough to cancel the journey and forfeit her dollars.

I was in total arrangement: If I had booked a journey to Europe and couldn’t get my dollars again, I would nevertheless go, I informed her. But on the other hand, I will not e-book one feeling the way I do.

So does that necessarily mean I place a value tag on my private security? Or that my fears can be measured in bucks?

I do marvel no matter if these fears were being born in a put prolonged time ago, again when men and women my age were being young children and our mother and father built bomb shelters in the again garden. Or when we learn to hunker down in the college corridors, assuming “the place” in the air raid drills each college student had to learn?

Fb close friend and Huff/Post50 blogger Sharon Hodor Greenthal understands specifically what I am chatting about. She stated in a FB write-up that I am sharing with her authorization: “My daughter was meant to fly to London now on Enterprise and my partner and I are really, really concerned. … I know that conditions like what occurred in Belgium can take place anytime, but flying now just looks … I never know. I am not commonly a worrisome father or mother, nor is my partner.” 

I hear you, Sharon. We are sister wives on this one.

And for individuals of you who never share our worry, make sure you spare me the cliche that my unwillingness to go to a put specific by terrorists in some way signifies that “they have won.” I have no ideas to modify my faith and I am nevertheless scheduling on performing exercises my proper to vote — if just to make positive Donald Trump doesn’t turn out to be President. And that, close friends, is anything to seriously be fearful of.

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